The Grizzly Zone

My mother's signature dessert had to be her Jell-O molds. She'd start with a your basic lime Jell-o mix, but she'd substitute a half-pound of Philadelphia cream cheese for a cup of the cold water. She'd then stir the Jell-O until the cream cheese had thoroughly dissolved, then add a can of well-drained pineapple chunks.

On year, she decided to be daring. Instead of using pineapple chunks, she decided to use fresh cranberries and chopped nuts. (I imagine she was trying to make a holiday wreath in Jell-O.)

As she mixed everything, the cranberries popped, releasing their purple juices into the bright green Jell-O. The Jell-O started to turn gray.

My mom was horrified. She asked me what she could do and I suggested that her only option was to add some food coloring. She chose green. It was a bad move.

The more green food color she stirred in, the more cranberries would pop. The Jell-O became grayer and grayer.

She stopped and thought for a minute. She had exhausted all the time she had to spend on this, and now had no time left. She had other things to do.

She put it the Jell-O mixture into the mold to set up.

When she served it, it was a perfect shade of Battleship Gray.


The next year, she used orange Jell-O in her recipe.

Why is it that so many people are ready to believe that their doctor is in an evil cabal with the drug manufacturers and the FDA, but that any website selling "snake oil*" is the real deal?

*"Snake oil" is defined as any pill, tablet, capsule, suppliment, serum, lotion, cream, ointment, suppository, containing an exotic substance, which has not been subjected to any clinical trials and has not been evaluated by the FDA.